Father, Jesus,

What? Why? Now? My brother Paul ?

He has a loving Bride, Beautiful Children and Grand Children. Not mention the rest of my family, Living Water Church.
I know Jesus that you come when it is time to take each one home. I have seen you come seven times so far in my life. So your comings are not new to me.

Yet my heart, like all of the rest of us, feels the agony in the depths of grief, just as though it is the first time. The pain so unforgiving with little room for breathing in the midst of drowning tears.

Paul came when I lay dying on my living room floor. He picked me up and took me in as his very own brother. He nourished my body, soul, mind and spirit with your love and comfort. Ever faithful to lift me up to you Father and Son.
Each time You have come and restored my soul, my spirit, my life.

I am not going to quote the endless verses of Scripture here. For we ( LWC ) all know them. My spirit knows them. Yet there is this part of my Love that I have come to know, that while the depth of me is lost to a place that has no words only tears — there is still another knowing. But it is far greater than all the tears. All these years has eluded me until your coming for my brother Paul.

Christmas, death, now?
As I face the loss of my brother Paul there is a new knowing.
Paul and all of those I love who you have come for ARE the reason for Christmas. Are the reason for you Jesus. is your answer Father, that I might know your love for me.

How else could You come but in a baby like me? How else could I know who you are if You had not revealed yourselves to me in Jesus.

So now in the midst of Paul and the loss I feel — You have come in the season and time I need you most. We call it Christmas.

You bring the gift of yourself in Christ to love and comfort me. to know the Light. To know joy, peace and rest. To restore my life that I might know I am a new creation.

Now as Your new creation I live now and rejoice that my brother Paul is dancing with You all safe and full of life.

I am free to share what You have given Paul – – with my family with your comfort, peace and love. You are here in me, with me and all I love.

Thank You Father! Thank you Son!

Love you Paul;